i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize