Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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