remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize