I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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