I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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