that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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