Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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