Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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