it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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