Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
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I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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