fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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