There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize