so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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