Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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