i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
handjob tips. give me some.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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