You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize