I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize