dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
worst night to have a conscience
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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