Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize