you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
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I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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