Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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