We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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