I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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