soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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