U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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