No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
