i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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