Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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