Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just high enough for therapy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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