I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
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I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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