Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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