To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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