I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize