I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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