would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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