i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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