I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize