real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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