well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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