she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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