sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
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THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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