I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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