As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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