I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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