I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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