Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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