the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize