my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
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if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize