I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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