she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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